Hace de ha!From: Tomer Morad [tomerm@techunix.technion.ac.il]
Sent: ùáú 05 àåšèåáø 2002 1:59
To: tomerm@techunix.technion.ac.il
Subject: Hace de ha!

hola!!!! 

After so long, I finally found some internal strength and time to write about 
my trip.  To those of you who donīt know, after my last 6-month-long trip to 
south america and new zealand, I returned to Israel for six months, only to 
return once again.  In the past month I have been in Colombia, with my friend 
Alon from home.  I am glad I decided to come back! 

Of course, things arenīt as exiting as they used to be in the first trip.  The 
beggars, the sites, shopping, spanish, etc.  but the people remained just as 
interesting.  I was amused to discover new things and habbits that were not 
apparent in my first vacation.  Take the women for example.  The women in this 
country seem to think that men they are with should pay for all their 
expenses.  What we call in Hebrew "oshek" (no English word for that, sorry.  
It means something like taking advantage of someone in a real cruel way). 
So where do we see this "oshek"?  Easy, just walk into a disco and talk to a 
girl.  If she suddenly becomes thirsty you know youīre in trouble... She will 
order herself a drink and expect you to pay.  That is if you are lucky.  If 
you are not lucky, she will order drinks for her friends too. 
So a whole bunch of theories from the best of the Isreali minds emerged - how 
to "attack" (to hit on, all rights reserved to Guy) girls without turning 
bankrupt.  When to approach, if she is alone or with friends.  If she is away 
from the bar or not.  If she is holding a drink or not. 
If all else fails and she tries to make an "oshek", you can always use the 
excuse "but i have only money for my taxi back to the hotel".  I must warn you 
that this is a cruel excuse in colombian terms, and can cause girls severe 
heart attacks.  Of course the girl would not be interested in you after 
this... (see Alon for an explanation). 
It is not only in discos, it is everywhere you look.  Try a restaurant - You 
can easily see who is always paying, and for what.  Letīs say it is a date, 
ok, to pay only for your date.  But no!  We have seen examples of girls that 
call all their friends to the table...   In cartagena we saw what we 
call "oshek meshulash" (triple oshek), and we thought it was really mean.  We 
were surprised to see a worse situatin: some days later we noticed an "oshek 
meshuba" (oshek times seven).  You see an European guy of about 40 years, 
sitting with a young beautiful girl.  "suddenly" after a few minutes she sees 
her friends across the street and calls them to the table.  Six of them sat 
down, and guess who paid? 

In the beginning: 

Well, now for some stories about the trip (not that the above was made up...) 
Letīs start by admitting that this was the most quiet, calm trip I have ever 
had.  I didnīt do much except for sitting around making jokes. 
We started out in Bogota, no, the trip started already on the plane - we met a 
really nice colombian woman who gave us tips about the country.  We also met 
an israeli girl who we talked to all the flight.  Like an israeli girl, she 
barely said goodbye after we seperated, but unfortunantly I am already used to 
it. 
After arriving, we barely did much, but to sit around in the day and go out at 
night.  We did do some tour to see bogota from the mountains, where we met a 
nice bored group of university students, who then showed us around the city 
with their bus. 
After noticing the "oshek" in bogota, we met eyal, a friend I travelled with 
in Peru (yes he is still travelling, in total 3 years).  Now this guy has some 
theories about the "oshek" and girls in general.  The problem is that he 
shares them with his mother.  Imagine a 31-year-old guy telling his 
mother: "mom, you are a really nice woman, really nice.  But all the girls in 
the world are prostitutes!"  She cried after hearing this sentence.  Could be 
because she understood that her son will never marry... 

San Andres: 

After about a week in the cold city of bogota, we decided we need a little 
tan.  So we bought tickets to san andres, which is a tropical island in front 
of nicaragua, but belongs to colombia.  It was almost like the movies: white 
sand, coconuts, blue waters, islands, tropical trees, etc.  Why almost?  well, 
there were hardly any models, well, who am i kidding - there were hardly 
people our age in the islands, so it was a little boring.  The majority of 
youngsters were the mosquitos. 

Cartagena: 

"The city of prostitutes and drugs" 

We had a very nice time in our rented apartment in cartagena.  We didnīt do 
much except for going to the beach, and going out.  Some guy set us up with a 
tour and disappeared, so we recruited the police to help us.  We drove with 
sirens in a police car in the city, but didnīt find him.  If any of you meet a 
guy named Antonio, tall, black, with white hair, please collect the $20 he 
owes us! 
Except for antonio, another fellow deserves a few lines here: Maccabi.  We 
rented an apartment from this lady, who has a drunk drugged street fellow to 
help her around the house.  After closing the contract on the apartment, she 
told us that we can trust maccabi, because she knows him since he was little. 
30 seconds after she left the house, we were offered to buy all kinds of drugs 
from him...  trust... :) 
The following week we saw him washing the cars of almost everyone on the 
block, occasionally calling us from the street "Israelitos!!!".  He could go 
on forever until we answerd... 

Santa marta and tyrona: 

Not much to do in santa marta, but drink some tropical juices and go out to 
excursions.  One of them is the natural park of tyrona, a beautiful beach 
resort with alot of mosquitos.  In one of our walks there, we heard an awful 
noise, like someone threw a big rock at us.  We then understood that it was a 
coconut falling from 20 meters high...  Some people die of that every year... 
We also went on a "track" to "publito", which is an archeological site with a 
few rocks...  Not too exciting. 
What we didnīt do there is the famous track of the lost city.  It was 6 days 
long, and a week before an israeli fell and luckily stayed alive.  We dicided 
to avoid it and come to medellin. 

Medellin: 

"3 girls for each guy" 

First thing noticable about medellin: no oshek!!!!  finally! 
Actually, there is "oshek" here also, but it is the girls that pay more!  
Seems like too good to be true in colombia... 
Of course, continuing our lazyness we didnīt do much here also, but walk 
around and go out. 
A few days ago, me and Alon met some girls and took their phone numbers.  I 
met mine in a disco in the dark, and alon met his in a water park (she worked 
there).  Stupidly, we told them to come to our hotel at the same time.  One of 
them arrived, but we couldnīt tell who she was...  Alon asked me "is she 
yours?", and i replied "i think so but i am not sure...".  Good thing we know 
hebrew.  We tried to get some information out of her but with no luck...  So 
finally alon askes her "where do you work?", and she replied "In the water 
park".  Alon said "of course", and we didnīt know where to bury ourselves... 

So much for medellin, so much for colombia, so much for this vacation.  My 
flight back is in three days :( for another 11 months of waiting for the next 
vacation (to centeral america, anyone want to join??) 

c u all soon! 
Tomer. 
(thomas is only my temporary name in south america, to make it easier for you 
english and spanish speakers)